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The Truth About Homeschooling

from Airglow by Zoe Gray

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about

What is a homeschooler? Explaining these strange magical beings.
In the words of Lily Allen, if you don't detect the sarcasm you've misunderstood.

lyrics

There are people in this world that are quite different than the others
You may know a few of them; your cousin's girlfriend's brothers are all homeschooled
What's up with that?
Now, at first you may find these little people quite alarming
Cause who's ever hear of a homeschooler being charming?
Nobody
Ever

And how can they learn if they're not tested
I think they're getting a little too invested
In this theory
That has no studies to back it up as a viable learning option

[Chorus]
Homeschoolers are all socially awkward
And lounge about in pajamas every day
When they're not being taught by a person who's not a teacher
They stay inside cause they don't have friends anyway

They're chained up in the basement so they rarely see the sun
They never go on field trips, cause what's the fun in leaving their shelter
Not that they have the time
They never sit in chairs and don't know how to stand in line
I bet they won't take orders so there's just no point in trying to use discipline
Who listens to parents

And how will they ever go to college
It's not like they've gained any knowledge
It's not like the acceptance rate is actually higher for people who homeschooled

[Chorus]
Homeschoolers are all socially awkward
And lounge about in pajamas every day
When they're not being taught by a person who's not a teacher
They stay inside cause they don't have friends anyway

And I feel bad for the parent
Who has to spend time teaching their kid
It's not like that job is inherent
They have to hang out with the person they created, God forbid

[Chorus]
Homeschoolers are all socially awkward
And lounge about in pajamas every day
When they're not being taught by a person who's not a teacher
They stay inside cause they don't have friends anyway [x3]

credits

from Airglow, track released March 9, 2014

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Zoe Gray

girlhood, occult longings, love like wilding.

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